People say a lot of things. Some human beings have the capacity to talk forever, it seems. They complain, they rant, they get mad, they explain themselves. They go on and on, but very rarely do you ever hear the words that most need to be said…and heard. “I’m sorry.”
I came across a quote that suggested that accepting that we will never get an apology, a sincere apology I assume, life will somehow become easier. When we accept the apology we never got, life becomes easier? I don’t know how true that is because they also say, “Better late than never.” But sometimes it is too late. Too late to save the marriage, too late to cure the disease, too late to repair a broken relationship, too late to see that dream come true. This isn’t meant to be discouraging. No, it’s just one of the realities of life. But I think it’s healing to hear that someone is sorry for what you are going through, especially when that person knows what it is to go through what you are going through.
So, here it is…
I’m sorry for all the ways society stigmatizes you and puts you in a box that you don’t fit in. I’m sorry that you get treated so shitty by doctors and medical professionals that are supposed to be caring for you and helping you. I’m sorry your family misunderstands you or has abandoned you when you needed them most. I’m sorry you are not always taken seriously. I’m sorry for all the harsh remarks and unkind words you receive on a weekly basis. I’m sorry that you often feel invisible and left out. I’m sorry that you grieve over what you have lost, of things that can never be and things that never were. I’m sorry that people label you as “negative” when in reality you are fighting for your life and sometimes it gets too much to bear. I’m sorry that people forget your birthday when they seem to remember everything else rather easily. I’m sorry that your life did not turn out as planned. I’m sorry that it often feels that everyone has forgotten about you because people are too busy dealing with their pain to notice yours. I’m sorry that so many people place so many expectations on you. I’m sorry that you place so many expectations on yourself. I’m sorry that all of your extra money goes to prescription costs, doctor visits and medical tests. But most of all, I’m sorry that I had to write this because it shouldn’t have come from me, but from that person or those people that you needed most to hear it from. And I’m sorry that even if you got that apology, it would be too little, too late.
And for everything else…I’m sorry.
5 thoughts on “I’m Sorry: An Open Letter to The Chronically Ill and Disabled”
The “shitty doctors” line got to me. Sometimes we don’t even get a choice of what doctor to see and when they don’t believe you hurt, it makes you hurt more and that there is no more help to get…
It’s very true and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all of this. I’m in a similar situation right now with doctors and it’s so hard. Know you’re not alone and don’t give up.
I’m not sure if my comment went through or not because I also went to subscribe by email since I don’t have Facebook. Thank you so much for writing this it really helped from so many apologies never received. I apologize to you as well and anyone reading this article added apologies. I live in chronic pain myself with chronic fatigue and health issues fortunately I have excellent doctors here for that I am so thankful for. One is in heaven now and one is here. God bless you
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I am very glad you got something out of it. It’s hard to move forward without that closure, but sometimes all we can do is apologize to ourselves and to each other. Thank you so much for your support. Appreciate it. 🙂 Keeping you in prayer…
Wow, you’re really speaking to me today–so glad I stumbled on your site. God bless you hugely.